While in China ,a man is very sexually promiscuous and does not use a condom all the time. A week after arriving back home in Australia, he wakes one morning to find his penis covered with bright green and purple spots. Horrified, he immediately goes to see a doctor. The doctor, never having seen anything like this before, orders some tests and tells the man to return in two days for the results.
The man returns a couple of days later and the doctor Says: "I've got bad news for you -- you've contracted Mongolian VD. It's very rare and almost unheard of here. We know very little about it." The man looks a little perplexed and says: "Well, give me a shot or something and fix me up, Doc." The doctor answers: "I'm sorry, there's no known cure. We're going to have to amputate your penis." The man screams in horror, "Absolutely not! I want a second opinion." The doctor replies: "Well, it's your choice. Go ahead if you want but surgery is your only choice."
chinese doctor
The next day, the man seeks out a Chinese doctor, figuring that he’ll know more about the disease. The Chinese doctor examines his penis and proclaims: "Ah, yes, Mongolian VD. Vely rare disease." The guy says to the doctor: "Yeah, yeah, I already know that, but what can we do? My doctor wants to operate and amputate my penis!"
The Chinese doctor shakes his head and laughs: "Stupid Aussie docta, always want to opelate. Make more money that way. No need to opelate!" Oh,Thank God!" the man replies.
"Yes," says the Chinese doctor, "You no worry! Wait two weeks. Faw off by it self...."
fromhttp://www.jokes.org.au/doctors-and-medical/
Minggu, 07 Oktober 2007
Second Opinion
Cure or Kill
Arnie, the tailor was frantic. His wife, Rebecca, was sick and perhaps dying.
"Doctor, please save my wife. I'll pay anything."
"What if I can't cure her?"
"I'll pay you whether you cure her or kill her. Just come straight away."
Although the doctor was prompt is visiting the woman, she died a few days later. The doctor sent Arnie a hefty bill. The tailor couldn't hope to pay, and asked the doctor to appear before the rabbi with him, to have the case arbitrated.
"He agreed to pay me for treating his wife, whether I cured her, or killed her."
The rabbi asked thoughtfully,
"Well, did you cure her?"
"No."
"Then did you kill her?"
"Certainly not."
"In that case," said the rabbi, "you have no grounds on which to base a fee."
from:http://www.jokes.org.au/doctors-and-medical/
Senin, 01 Oktober 2007
Slowly
SLOWLY
Dentist: I have to pull the aching tooth, but don't worry it will take just five minutes.
Patient: And how much will it cost?
Dentist: It's $90.00.
Patient: $90.00 for just a few minutes work???
Dentist: I can extract it very slowly if you like.
OUT AGAIN
"I came in to make an appointment with the dentist." said the man to the receptionist.
"I'm sorry sir." she replied. "He's out right now, but..."
"Thank you," interrupted the obviously nervous prospective patient. "When will he be out again ?"
fromhttp://www.workjoke.com/projoke355.htm
Pneumonia
"Doctor, are you sure I'm suffering from pneumonia? I've heared once about a doctor treating someone with pneumonia and finally he died of typhus."
"Don't worry, it won't happen to me. If I treat someone with pneumonia he will die of pneumonia."
fromhttp://www.workjoke.com/projoke35.htm
Two Ears
A guy walks into work, and both of his ears are all bandaged up. The boss says, "What happened to your ears?"
He says, "Yesterday I was ironing a shirt when the phone rang and shhh! I accidentally answered the iron."
The boss says, "Well, that explains one ear, but what happened to your other ear?"
He says, "Well, jeez, I had to call the doctor!"
fromhttp://www.workjoke.com/projoke35.htm
Shingles
A fellow walked into a doctor's office and the receptionist asked him what he had.
He said, "Shingles."So she took down his name, address, medical insurance number and told him to have a seat.
A few minutes later a nurse's aid came out and asked him what he had.
He said, "Shingles."So she took down his height, weight, a complete medical history and told him to wait in the examining room.
Ten minutes later a nurse came in and asked him what he had.
He said, "Shingles."So she gave him a blood test, a blood pressure test, an electrocardiogram, told him to take off all his clothes and wait for the doctor.
Fifteen minutes later the doctor came in and asked him what he had.
He said, "Shingles."
The doctor said, "Where?"
He said, "Outside in the truck. Where do you want them?"
fromhttp://www.workjoke.com/projoke35.htm
Before drinking
Patient to the eye doctor: "Whenever I drink coffee, I have this sharp, excruciating pain."
Doctor:"Try to remember to remove the spoon from the cup before drinking."
from:http://www.workjoke.com/projoke35.htm
